All roads lead to The Green Welly Stop when you’re traveling through the Scottish Highlands, Tyndrum being at the intersection of the A82 and the A85 that leads westward to Oban, Fort William and most of the western isles, or eastward further into Perthshire and Speyside.
Here you’ll find all that your weary head could want: fuel, camping supplies, hot meals, showers, laundry facilities, tartan tat, souvenirs of every kind to suit every budget, shortbread, tea towels decorated with impossibly cute terriers, Celtic-knotted everything and still more shortbread, not to mention wellies and outerwear for those in denial of the weather. And of course whisky. Lots of whisky.
Located at the very back of the compound, past the shortbread and tea towels, is Tyndrum Whisky, and from a purely pragmatic standpoint there is no good reason to shop here. Setting out from Glasgow or Edinburgh you’re most likely looking to fill your boots ‘in situ’ with distillery exclusives and selfies, perhaps even under the naive impression that whisky will somehow be cheaper at the source — the innocence of neophytes! Or, heading home on the heels of a whirlwind pilgrimage, you’ve already had that bubble burst and regardless find yourself saddled with more bottles than expected, and with absolutely no room for even one more. Of course.
But for a whisky lover there’s nothing that quickens the heart quite like beholding shelf after shelf of deep amber liquid, the tactile pleasure of a bottle’s heft in your hands while you peruse the label, or scanning the fine print and admiring the shimmer and shine as the light catches the whisky from different angles.
It also doesn’t hurt that Tyndrum Whisky is staffed with genuine whisky lovers who know their wares and are happy to ship them home to you, or at least to those of you residing within the boundaries of a free economy. The rest of us have to ditch a pair of socks to make room in our luggage, or buy yet another suitcase – Argos to the rescue.
Phil and Simon Thompson are owners of the Dornoch Castle Hotel, where they curate one of the Highlands’ great whisky bars. They founded their own distillery in 2016 and also bottle casks of whisky under the label Thompson Bros. It’s an increasingly competitive business and they’ve stood out nicely with the clever artwork of their packaging, just like everyone else. As such it was refreshing to come across their new series of hot takes on vintage labels during our last pitstop at The Green Welly. Some of them were so convincing one wonders if a copyright lawyer was consulted.
In the case of this Laphroaig-not-Laphroaig, they had me with the subtle texture of its laid paper stock and clean but elegant typography. ‘Williamson 12 Year Old’ is set in Roundhand, a quiet, dignified script that feels appropriate to Bessie Williamson, proprietress of Laphroaig distillery from 1954 to 1972. And as a ‘Blended Malt Scotch Whisky’ (set in Copperplate Gothic at the top of the label; I love the understated presence of this typeface) one assumes that the distillery added an eyedropper of another whisky to the cask to ensure that it couldn’t be labeled as Laphroaig. Success!
Otherwise there’s scant detail about the whisky itself save for mention of a refill butt distilled in 2010, filled in 2022, and the sly reference to Bessie. A QR code links to the brothers’ website with musings about pickled walnuts, sweaty farm sheds and smoked pineapple salsa, which in turn brings to mind the opening salvo at a tailgate party with your best Traeger grilling bros — set, hut!
As hinted above this was an impulse buy, largely motivated by the label and its echoes of a simpler, gentler time, not to mention the nod to Williamson, one of Scotch whisky’s few matriarchs. A recent visit to the Dornoch Castle Hotel was also a reminder of some of the inspired choices that the Thompson Bros have both bottled and collected, and being fans of Laphroaig I’m assuming that this is something they’d like to drink themselves, with minimal cask influence, bottled at a toothsome 50% abv.
And yes, this absolutely was cheaper on their own website, as well as a few others. Sure, hindsight is 20/20 – but curiously the WiFi signal always seems somewhat non-existent at the Green Welly Stop.